The Sophisticates

Hey readers,

Let’s talk about passion. Obviously, music is a passion of mine. What is yours? Pull up a chair, I’m going to tell you a personally overwhelming story.

My profile blurb is true, music has always been a part of my life. I absolutely love listening to it, buying it, sharing it, discovering up and coming bands, experiencing concerts, etc. However, I found out at an early age I am not blessed with being able to perform it. In the early ‘70s we had practice for Mass every Thursday at St. Leo’s in Rohrerstown. Our dear Principal, Sister Clare, pulled me aside and informed me singing wasn’t my calling. I must have been really bad and I took her observation to heart. I haven’t truly sang out loud at Church ever since. And if I ever did let loose at home, my girls were quick to remind me how awful it was wink. Air guitar, air drumming and pretending to belt it out? I’m a freakin’ virtuoso!

Not too long ago my middle-aged friends John Shuba, John Finger and Andy Bailey formed a garage band “The Sophisticates.” Something to do with their talent of actually playing guitar, bass guitar and drums. Cool! They used to play their instruments much more in the past B.C. (Before Children).

They announced they were going to play for us at an annual Halloween party. Some messages were going back and forth about songs they were mulling over. Originals and a few covers. Out of nowhere Shuba mentioned a legendary “Oi" anthem, which he knew I cherished, called “Someone’s Gonna Die” by the UK band Blitz.

YES! PLAY THAT!

Here’s where the lightning strikes……Shuba says “We’ll play it if you sing it.”

(Wait, what? Doesn’t he realize I am a horrible singer?! John, there’s a big reason I stuck to being the deejay.)

I didn’t verbalize any of these things ………………. I said HELL YEAH!

My heart was so full of excitement. Finding the right words is a challenge.

As soon as our house was empty I would put the song on while doing dishes. I made sure I had the correct lyrics and I started practicing. Getting the timing down. Trying to sound respectable.

The day of the party I put on my coat and walked up to John’s home. The Sophisticates were rehearsing for the night’s party. Amazingly I wasn’t even nervous. I was ready to let it rip! We ran through the song 3-4 times.

Elizabeth & I went to the party as John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

The band started playing after an hour or so and we all went into the garage to cheer them on. Some covers, like The Clash’s “Clash City Rockers” and Bow Wow Wow’s “I Want Candy,” were thrown in between their originals. When Shuba asked for a “special guest” to come forward I stripped off my army jacket and New York City shirt to expose my Adverts t-shirt and a studded belt. I was ready! I was thrilled! I thought fondly about Sister Clare & the band that wrote the song and then I grabbed that microphone and I became possessed by the music. Like the dreamers of dance who have no legs, a blind man facing the Grand Canyon, all of a sudden the boy with no talent was in the band.

The band, The Sophisticates, are playing for all of you this Friday, January 23, at The Chameleon Club’s Lizard Lounge for $5. Come out and join us. I doubt I’ll be singing this time around but I am forever grateful. - Fig Lancaster