Connoisseurs of Porn

Toronto weirdos bang out a one-sided interpretation of what the Magic Band might be up to if the Captain was still with us and terrorizing basement shows with demented blurt. This is some brown acid blues for the art school kids who show up to class stoned and smelling of stale beer. Just try to listen to this record without tearing off your pants and whipping them around the room, smashing all your roommates’ stuff like a homostupid. - Weird Canada

3 out of 5

Disc Review

The Connoisseurs Of Porn - I’m Bored
(Buzz)
By Richard Trapunski

Some just-?formed indie bands suffer because they can’t afford professional recordings or studio gloss. Local noise-?rock trio the Connoisseurs of Porn benefit from it. Recorded live without overdubs, their five-song EP hits with a no-?frills rawness straight out of the school of Steve Albini.

The production certainly suits the music, an eccentric mishmash of plodding bass, angular guitar scrapes and throaty, Captain Beefheart-style vocals. It’s as noisy and bizarre as the best of Mr. Bungle, but also weirdly tuneful, almost in spite of itself. They’ve written hooks, but chopped and mixed them into abrasive, oddly ?formed compositions.

While Film and Community Chest fabricate ear-?splitting crescendos out of slow, ominous builds, the title track keeps up its piercing climax for its entire 36-second duration. Switching directions multiple times over its 12 minutes, the EP is suitably named. We hope the band’s restlessness leads somewhere great. - NOW Magazine

Toronto-based trio The Connoisseurs of Porn play catchy, yet unpredictable, alternative, quite possibly even avant-garde rock.

In April 2011, they followed up their debut 7-inch with the I’m Bored five-song digital EP, which was recorded entirely live and is available on a “name your price” basis.

Listen to “Slurpy,” right-click here to download an MP3 of the track, and click here to check out The Connoisseurs of Porn’s MySpace page. - www.exploremusic.com

Toronto’s Connoisseurs of Porn (damn, just using that word will attract the spambots!) have a new EP entitled I’m Bored, which is available for on a pay-what-you want basis here.

They also have a showcase coming up at NXNE on June 17. - www.exploremusic.com

After the release of their seven inch, Connoisseurs of Porn are back, and just as frantic and crazy as ever.

Just a side note- if I mention during this review that the band “tones it down,” do not by any means assume that that means a slow song. Think of it more like turning the amp down from 11 to 10.

As they did previously, Connoisseurs of Porn plays noisy noise-rock that emphasizes screeching guitars, pounding drums, funky bass and vocals that are basically impossible to understand. The vocals just seem to add to the crazy atmosphere that is the I’m Bored EP.

The band wastes no time in being crazy. With very little buildup, the band launches at you with the opening track “Connoisseurs.” It probably makes a great song to mosh to, and ends with the lead singer screaming as if in pain.

The next track “Film” calms down a little and here the bass has time to shine over the gritty and sparse electric guitar chords.

“Slurpee” is driven by guitar riffs, while “I’m Bored” is 36 seconds of what sounds like the band’s attempt to pack as much energy as they can into such a short song.

Finally, there’s “Community Chest” which starts rather simply, with just a guitar riff. In fact, you may be deceived into thinking the song will be a lower-key fair but you’ll quickly be proved wrong when the band suddenly speeds up and ends with a bang.

I’m Bored is a very fitting name for this particular piece of music. This EP almost gives a voice to the insanity one feels when they’re bored but have no way of relieving said boredom. It’s shown that this band is building up some serious momentum.

Top Track: “Connoisseurs”

Rating: Proud Hoot (Really Good)
- http://glasspaperweight.wordpress.com

Toronto based noise rockers The Connoisseurs Of Porn recently dropped their second release, I’m Bored, and we think you should know about it. If you head over to their Bandcamp page, you can download the EP absolutely free of charge. Recommended tracks include, Film and Slurpy. While you’re at it, be sure to grab a copy of their debut 7?. The band plays Part & Labour here in Toronto on April 28th. For more info on The Connoisseurs Of Porn, visit their Facebook page. We’re looking forward to hearing more from these guys. - www.theindiemachine.com

When you get a single with a band title like Connoisseurs of Porn it sets the bar pretty high for some sort of extreme insanity.
Then you take a look at the black and white cover of the single, photos of fences and barbed wire and a couple of weird bastards with bags on their heads with eye holes cut out of course. Oh is this Burial Chamber Trio you ask? No...but close.
The harsh shellac inspired chords on 'Peasant Terror' screech from the opening seconds on this - but wait, this isn't going to be one of those noise experiment in how long a listener is going to tolerate this. A bassline and drums work on under the skee-ee-eech. As a whole they have a dirty, raw sound, in the way that they probably recorded off hours in a dominatrix dungeon (which might actually work out for a band).
The guitar rides that line between pure feedback and the harmonics that are chords nicely with a half tin can and no effects at all vocals.
Even when I catch the lyric, 'My profession is teaching young ones...' it doesn't bother me, it wouldn't surprise me he was an elementary school teacher...and I'm sure he's better than most teachers out there.

'Chicken' has more of that insane guitar sound that the vocals try to match here, in anti-melody. This one has a little of that rumbling hardcore metal/rap sound, the off kilter rhythms, with each instrument desperately fighting for it's individuality, leaning on the ground shaking bursts of progressions and pauses.
The manic vocals get layered towards the end and this surprisingly brief track doesn't go overboard on that hammering sound.
I'd like to hear these guys keep pushing some of these ideas, it's headed towards something really unique, vocally they're already there. Half yelling, upper register releases following in no one's footsteps. The guitar matches the human weirdness while the band keeps it from getting too experimental, it's got those familiar pop structures and staying well on the fringes of traditional rock.

Housed in appropriately enough a brown paper inner sleeve, just like the really hardcore magazines from the days of old. I would love to see the subscriber list of Hustler magazine. I mean that group is truly living on the absolute fringes of society. The sleeve is a mix between pumpkinhead and saw imagery, made all the more scary by the lack of color.
Can I also just point out that for a band named Connoisseurs of Porn I wasn't expecting a nice handwritten, legible note with nothing but nice things to say about the blog. Is that almost a stereotype at this point? For every band that has a crazy persona it's equally inverse to their nice manners? Something like that... and what are these guys doing making music anyway? Being connoisseurs of Porn has to be a neverending job.

Get it from Buzz Records.

Featuring tracks 'Peasant Terror' and 'Chicken'7'
Recorded and Mixed by The Connoisseurs of Porn
Mastered By Jason Ward (Eliott Smith, Social Distortion) - http://7inches.blogspot.com

"You are probably looking at this in confusion, both at the name of the 7? and the name of the band. I assure you though, this is something to check out.

Connoisseurs of Porn are a noise-rock band from Toronto. What does noise rock entail? From what I can tell, music that borders on the edge of an impromptu jam session but possessing some element of control.

I could not understand a word of what the lead singer said in both songs, but it didn’t really matter. The voice just added to the insanity of pounding drums and wailing guitars.

The songs are both in short bursts, with “The Peasant Terror” being just over two minutes and “Chicken” being one minute and 40 seconds. You can’t not listen to them both and be bored. It’s just not possible.

This is definitely something you won’t hear every day.

Rating: Strong Hoot (Good)" - glasspaperweight.wordpress.com

"The Connoisseurs of Porn bill themselves as noise rock, and those punters looking to have their fillings rattled can rest assured that the lads here most definitely live up to their end of the bargain. The Toronto trio formed in the city's west end sometime in 2009 and on their debut vinyl - released in the waning months of 2010 - they offer up just under four minutes of earth-shattering sonic sludge that nicely checks the raunchier elements of MC5 and Sonic Youth, and adds a touch of early Pere Ubu eccentricity just for good measure. 'The Peasant Terror''s caustic guitars disinter the decaying skeletons of the old Grande Ballroom, while the freakier funk of 'Chicken' over on the flip might even make Steve Albini blush a bit. There's a free digital EP to follow, so keep the ear-plugs handy."

Michael Panontin - canuckistanmusic.com

CONNOISSEURS OF PORN
One of the flagship bands of new micro-label Buzz Records, Connoisseurs of Porn fall somewhere between the realm of Captain Beefheart, Mr. Bungle and Frank Zappa. It’s weird, sure, but it’s also perfect for sweaty garage shows. It’s also, apparently, not too obscure to escape the watchful eye of Alan Cross. Just a few weeks ago, the local musicologist posted their video on his Explore Music blog. - http://resonancity.com

A ringing endorsement by Alan Cross for their video “Chicken” isn’t a bad start. Sounding like a heavy-metal soundtrack falling somewhere in between a horror film and a prankish cartoon, The Connoisseurs of Porn skirt the edges of Sonic Youth, The Stooges, Captain Beefheart, punctuated with blasts of syncopated guitar-noise and animated vocals. Drawing comparisons to Mr Bungle, this three-piece lets the floodgates open with a flurry of raw energy all under the spirit of an art-school project-meets-carousel ride. - http://lonelyvagabond.com

Alienated noise rockers rejoice: Buzz Records has high hopes for 2011! - http://resonancity.com

I know that just by posting this video from this Toronto band that porn bots are going to be all over this site, depositing heaps of spam in the comments section which will take me hours to delete. (I know this to be true because we featured these guys in the podcast earlier this year; that’s why the tag spells their name as “Pr0n.” ) You’re welcome.

- www.exploremusic.com

Toronto weirdos bang out a one-sided interpretation of what the Magic Band might be up to if the Captain was still with us and terrorizing basement shows with demented blurt. This is some brown acid blues for the art school kids who show up to class stoned and smelling of stale beer. Just try to listen to this record without tearing off your pants and whipping them around the room, smashing all your roommates’ stuff like a homostupid. - New Canadiana :: Connoisseurs of Porn – Falling Down the Stairs